Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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