1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
she was so not down for the gang bang
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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