so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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