You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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