My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
