Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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