i was rollin on her like bob the builder
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he fucked my hip out of place.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
