I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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