apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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