Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
