It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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