Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
