Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
