the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
