her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
