when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
