By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
