I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
we're so committed to being not committed
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
