my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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