love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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