writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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