Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
