Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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