i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
