i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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