Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
