Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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