i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
