I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
