White coat. Heels.
My nipple is on Facebook.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
