omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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