Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
