I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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