I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
