Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
