I hope mine doesn't look like that
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
