fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
