I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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