Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I did not marry a roomba.
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