Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
