her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
