3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
