dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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