How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
this hospital has no fireball
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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