Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
