im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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