He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
