i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She even gives head with a lisp.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
