Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
