Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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